Coming out, not as simple as just 2 words for many, for there never is a right moment to do it. Being the only offspring and a super pampered one, a lot of questions and thoughts, family issues & parents health made me procrastinate my coming out for quite a few years. Also, the thought that I should be committed with someone when I do it (no idea why!). That did not stop me from being out to few of my best friends though. Have been blessed with the best of friends, for everyone I have come out to, have been supportive & still remain a part of my life 🙂
It so happened that the 3rd year commemoration of the Delhi High court’s reading down of section 377 was decided to be called ‘Indian Coming Out Day’. This made me feel like a hypocrite, help to organize an event of such name but not being out myself. There began my attempt to be out to my parents. The day before the event mustered all my courage and decided to breach the topic with my parents. Dad pretty educated but not sure about his thoughts on the subject, Mom from an orthodox family and a high school dropout. Dilemma indeed. Tried to talk but the focus was on a News broadcast! Got a little miffed and walked away, the topic left untouched. The next day after the event, Mom asked: “You wanted to talk something yesterday?” I replied (still a little miffed) “Read tomorrow’s newspaper”. As I had already given a small interview about being gay and the society.
The next day still in bed, relieve a call by Mom who was with Dad in our hotel. She says you were at a Balloon function? I said, yeah and? She said that’s all saw the article like you said and called. I said OK, confused yet back to dreamland. The phone rings again and with the sobbing voice of Mom on the other end. She goes “What’s this, your Dad is saying something and all that I don’t understand or I don’t believe what I’ve understood”. Boom went my world. Still remember the weakness in my knees, the pain in my parent’s voice. First time I’ve heard my Dad cry. Once that was over, came the questions. Did they do something wrong? Can a doctor help? Why would I be so? Will I marry at all? And more such stuff. Took quite a bit of explaining and convincing. Mom being a Mom said, “The most important thing for us is you, who will take care of you after us? Not bothered about people, will tell them something. If not find a job in a different country let’s all relocate, but what about you?”
A week or so later, I remember Mom going through Time Out magazine and talking to me about Good As You and other similar LGBT organizations. Been almost 5 years now, yet anytime Mom reads or hears about a gay or lesbian wedding, she talks to me about it. Dad does not breach the topic even now or read any newspaper or pray to God. Both haven’t asked me to get married in about 3 years now. They accept they do not want to ruin a girl’s life, by forcing me to experiment with marriage. This makes me super proud of them and very thankful!
But both pamper me even more, saying they’ll give me all they can, as long as they can. Still worried about what will happen to me after them. Well, parents can never stop worrying! As for me, am happy knowing they know and trying my best to keep them happy in all other aspects that I can 🙂