Not Anymore

I was not like this always
I was not this cynical
I used to be full of hope and passion before ,despite my pains and struggles

But everyone’s got a breaking point
And that threshold got to me
I broke
And when I realised that
It was already too late to mend myself
I’ll forever stay this shattered soul,
A frozen heart
A non- healing wound with no painful expectations
An immovable object with nothing else to lose or gain
A forever scar that’ll stay a worse reminder

People told me not to lose hope
The people who cared about me
But I started being cold to them as well

First they might get hurt
Then they might stop caring at one point
Then they might leave eventually
But it’s only good for them to leave me
Caring for me will only give them more pain
I’ll only continue to be a dead weight in their life

U think I’m rude
I say I’m just practical
I deserve to be alone
A time of my life so full of myself,
only for myself

Not anymore a person with hopes, only to get those hopes lost in the sands of time
Not anymore a person with trust, only to get it broken by these ever-changing people
Not anymore an open book who shares everything with everyone
Not anymore a rightful person who needs to prove himself to others
I’m my own king
I’m my own critic
I’m my own hero, my own villain
I’m right to myself
One small world of myself, seperated from the universe
Not anymore a person who feels for petty things
Not anymore a person who fears heartbreak
Not anymore a person who wastes his tears for the unworthy

A person with nothing to lose and nothing to fear

Many nights passed away with feeding the pillows with tears
Many days passed away with taking the hits
Not anymore

Written by - The Eternal Misfit | Age: 23 | Location: Chennai | Language: English

Started in 2009 as a collective and now as Mist LGBTQ Foundation, Mist aims at empowering the LGBTQ+ community & promotes safe love by changing mindset through awareness.

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