“I don’t know
How to end me
Upend me
Universe please don’t send me
Something to mend me
My words don’t lend me
Strength no more
They offend me,
All the lights bend around me
Carrion meat, yet
No vultures descend on me
The maggots don’t want me
You’re a faggot they warn (taunt) me
I envy
Habits die hard, fast,
Nothing lasts around me
Darkness scared to surround me
Faith so afraid to blind me
The past too eager to remind me
How everyone cowers behind me
Hurl abuses filled with futile fury
Don’t dare play it fair to my face
Hear my broken tape
The truth never takes shape
My truth never escapes
From beyond me
Like it’s beneath me
Like I’m beneath you
Like a worm, unearth me
Pull me apart, it won’t hurt me
It will hurt me
So much the mirth for you
So much for your false tears
Dismember all your dolls dear
Move onto more than plastic dear
Destroy all your bonds dear
Nothing not rotton left here
Pointing fingers are so deft here
They never shake or shiver here
But they keep a safe distance
Never come near here
Grime converges on me
A crime to leave
Even a patch untouched or clean
You’re breathing in
My air my lungs expel fumes
That put gas chambers to shame
But I got no end game
I got no nothing but lame
Excuses to further my infamy
Further my infertile dreams
Dreams of a flightless future dear
Tabula rasa is a cool place in hell here
Nameless is everything except my sins here
And nameless are my hidden leers
And yet I’ve got nothing akin to a name
I got nothing to give except give you
All of me to maim
All my excess yours to claim
All my skin all yours to carve up and
Sign with your righteous blame
Look at all your bright angry flames
They took birth in the blood
Flowing in my veins
Return to source
Come back home
Momma awaits your return
You can burn baby burn me
The air fans the weak wicks ablaze
And the ashes I’ll leave
Will make you a comfy hearth
Give this one a wide berth
Don’t step in dirt don’t step on her
Once upon a her
All upon her, crown of thorns upon her
Head upon her shoulders long dead
So how to end her
How to end me
Upend me,
Universe please don’t send me
Anything to mend me
I can fend for me
I can feed off of me
I can seed into an oak
I can soak up all the sun
I am still lesser than her son
I am no one’s first one
I am my own unmaking
Watch me take me down with me
Watch me dig my lusty grave
Watch me try and get in
Watch me try and try and fail
In this desert of endless glittering sand
I fail to destroy my sole non-reflective grain
On loop I endlessly swallow my own tail
So whatever I end I start again”

Written by - The Owlling | Age: 30 | Location: Pune | Language: English

Started in 2009 as a collective and now as Mist LGBTQ Foundation, Mist aims at empowering the LGBTQ+ community & promotes safe love by changing mindset through awareness.

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